The Eighth Cycle

I'm going to pat myself on the back.  I really don't do this often enough, always blaming myself for what I didn't do.  I am proud that I've managed to keep an exercise regime going for seven cycles of half months.  Beginning in July, I've kept logs of exercise every half month, not counting the two weeks before I kept track where I began my meager movements.  Exercise would tire me out, and I couldn't follow most of the tapes I now move through with, if not total engagement, general skill and the development of muscle and tone.

This begins the eighth cycle.  I will have four more before the end of the year, during which I hope to lose more weight.  I had thought I would lose eight more pounds by the end of the year so that I would hover, if not enter, a new weight "bracket," but I'm not so sure that will happen.  If I can drop into the lower half of this weight bracket, where I now hover at the top of the top half, I will be happy.

My last half was the least amount of exercise per day.  I averaged 33 minutes per day, but only exercised about 9 out of 15 days.  Of course, I was sick, does that count?  Total minutes really dropped from the previous cycle and that was a drop from the cycle before that.  What it means is that I either have to watch better what I eat or increase the amount of exercise in order to continue to lose weight.

This week, I'm going to try to exercise at least half an hour every day.  Since I will exercise some days more than that (as I have today and will tomorrow at yoga), I will increase the average daily rate immediately, thus hopefully increasing the weight loss again.  Between now and Halloween:  2 more pounds so I'm getting toward the mid-range of this weight bracket.  Another 2 next month, another 2 in December.  That's not asking for much!!  And I can do it, YES I CAN!

Less Pain, More Gain?

After hearing friend Lisa bemoan how sore she was after running when she hadn't run for awhile, I found affirmation in my recent spate of aches and pains.  No wonder!  When I'm not exercising regularly, the exercise I do is more painful and makes me think negatively of exercise; when I'm exercising almost daily, I'm feeling relatively good, not a lot of aches and pains, and that makes continuing to exercise something that isn't a painful enterprise.  The problem is, it's a time-consuming enterprise, so if that is what causes the exercise to stop, or be limited, then the pain starts due to the intermittent exercise. 

I think the lesson here for me is to keep the exercise part of the routine, like brushing my teeth.  It's not like I notice how healthy my teeth are all the time, but I will notice that they're not if I stop brushing my teeth since that's when the cavities will begin. 

Side-note, the gain here is not pounds, but overall gain in feeling good, looking good, dropping weight, etc.  And in a related fashion, perhaps it's less money = more gain.  I tend to spend far too much at Kroger, thinking I'm going to eat all that food, even if it's good food.  Well, I'm not!  I can't eat as much as I used to and I'm not cooking for more than 1, so I have to get used to buying less.  It'll save me money, but also the temptation to eat more so that I "don't waste" what I buy and make.  Trouble is, wasting is the better option if the opposite is that I consume and gain pounds. 

When Life Interferes

Hard to exercise when feeling sick and feverish, but I'm trying out the "a little bit can't hurt" idea, just so that I don't go more than a day or two without doing anything.  I have to keep reminding myself that stretches, pilates, walks, are all okay and at least something if I'm not feeling up to doing anything rigorous.  I'm just so afraid, now, that I'll let myself go and then have a hard time coming back.  I know it doesn't take long--I'm just not sure how long is long once I start to get a little toned, as I am now.

One good thing is I'm in a new weight "bracket" and plan to stay there.  Sure, I'd like to go down to the next one, but I am going to be stringent about not letting even two pounds creep up which would get that "other" number back in the second position.  Hell no, I won't go.  There.  ;)

I know it's not about the number, but the number does matter.  A certain number and above means, at my height and body type, that I'm plain ol' carrying too much weight--not a good thing for my arthritic joints, my energy, my mood, how I feel about myself.  I look in the mirror and recognize a sculpted face I haven't seen in awhile.  I feel my legs and think, "they're mine?" because mine have not felt so firm in a very long time.  My arms, when I raise them to blow dry or brush my hair, look pretty nice--still a ways to go, but they are puffy looking or baggy. 

I think it's going to take losing weight and then keeping it off for a number of months before I really see what my body settles into.  I'm not thrilled with how my legs looks, or my elbows--is it loose skin from losing weight or from aging?  How much can I tone?  How much just is me now?  I'm somewhat patient, but also a bit insecure; I'm worried that no matter how much I lose, I'll still be disappointed (even a bit) in how I look.  I worry that I'll just stop this process and I'll gain it all back.  I may, after a few more pounds, take my weight loss "public" ala Facebook.  It might be a way to feel compelled to keep it off.  That, I'll have to think about . . . .

For now, my goal is to stay comfortably in this weight bracket and lose three more pounds by the end of the year.  I've scaled things back considerably, and if I lose more, that would be great.  But I see how my weight loss is slowing and that I just can't exercise at the same pace I did this summer.  The question for the next blog--how does one know the difference between being realistic and compromising or giving in?