The Continuing Cycle

I find myself still trying to find the less among the more, still trying to find the health and stamina I was working on a decade ago.

I feel the need even more to distill life to its basic components today as I wait to hear the outcome of my youngest son's SO in labor, and how I can be--with myself and for them--in the most basic, useful way possible. There is nothing I can do to direct this. It is theirs to live through, and mine to wait. Less is sometimes much harder than I would like.

Reading through this blog has been inspiring, actually. I see someone who has struggled with weight for about a decade (something that goes back to childhood), but keeps trying again and again. I have made big changes in weight, strength, and health, and have had big set-backs, but not, ultimately, life-threatening ones.

I will succeed again. I have my own guidelines to follow and, this time, I'm keeping track in a paper journal because I spend too much time online already. I'll plan monthly updates, though, so I have this record to look back on to keep myself motivated.

So for full disclosure, I'm not at my highest, but ten pounds less. My goal is to lose 15 pounds. I have lost more, so this is do-able. Whether I can or should stay there is another matter, but I won't know unless I go there and then look around a bit, like an alien on another planet. Can I breathe there? Can I do more than breathe and actually thrive? I will see. It sounds as if I have been able to lose this amount of weight in a summer, but have worked steadily at even more weight loss over a longer period of time. I will strive to lose a pound a week, give or take, by the time I leave for my retreat in New York in May 8.

Summer will allow me to hone that weight loss and see what it is like to stay there for a couple months. Will it be useful to lose more? Will that be a good set point? Where will I maintain strength best?

To be continued . . . . .