Perhaps this is where I got into trouble last year. Holidays. Mashed potatoes. Pumpkin Pie. Relatives. Sadness. Remembering those who are no longer here or lives that are no longer lived the way they were. Change that is not always a pleasant thing. As I ran today, I could feel myself physically slow as I thought of my concerns, as I worried about those I love. How are our emotions NOT connected to our bodies and our motivation and our perspective on the world? If anyone thinks that these things can be parceled out and subdivided, like so many lots in a suburban landscape, more power to them. For me and, I would hazard to guess, many others, our loves, our losses, our hopes, our fears drive us, impede us, change us, but in some way, affect us. I feel I have lost the ability to see myself as important. Why? Because I am worried and consumed about others whom I loved or love, whom I want to bring into my world, whom I think about more than I can focus on what is good or right for me. What the hell does this have to do with an exercise or diet blog? Because it is part of my day to day, part of my life. Its effects change whether I greet the day and start to run, or whether I hunker down under the covers thinking how much I would like to just stay there, how much I want to be loved, how much I fear for those I love.
Thursday, Nov. 29: Nevertheless . . . I ran today: 3.75 miles--combining walking and running. A sunny day. A brisk day. A good day, as they say, to be alive.
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