The first of the title seems all too intractable at times, the second all too easily rears its head, and the third is what I'm working on, hard.
It seems like many weeks and lots of sweat into my exercise and diet regime, I see-saw like a little girl and right now I'm stuck back on top and the big bad bully won't let me down. The thing is, the big bad bully who weighs more than me IS me--it's the real me with the weight I have that I don't want to be. I want to be the little skinny girl on top--feather-weight, svelte, out-weighed at every turn. Trouble is, that's not the picture that's going to help me in the long run.
The one with strength and flexibility who's going to outlast and out-muscle the heavy me is the one I want to be and should aim to be like. I am convinced somewhere in my "there is justice out there" soul, that if I keep on my getting fit routine, the weight will eventually come off.
Why is this an issue right now? I went down to see friends in KY and ate poorly--too many simple carbs and not enough veggies and fruit and complex grains; I even had the first low-blood sugar episode that I've had in months and months. Some of it was bad choices on my part where I could have opted for something better--so a heads up for me in the trip that's ahead of me to Boston later this week.
I also didn't exercise for two days. (The me that wasn't exercising at all for awhile is like, what? who cares?; the me who has been exercising regularly feels like a slug.) This is one of those whether-I-like-it-or-not ideas: regardless of my preference, I MUST EXERCISE. No excuses. Period. It's got to be fit into the day, and I have to get back to more cardio. Which means seeking more out because running all the time may not be the friendliest option for my knees; I have to get my bike in shape, I have to try the dance options nearby (Rhythm and Motion), and I have to use the tapes I do have, which are really pretty good and provide a good workout. The balance with strength training is also crucial--they ARE helping to trim and tone--I can feel their effect and I feel stronger when I run because of them. But cardio is what will help me drop pounds, too, so maybe it's cardio + strength, not one or the other on a particular day.
Now that I'm back, the scale is not telling me what I want to see. Back up almost three pounds. My body doesn't feel less trim, so what it is, I'm not sure--a woman's body is a mysterious thing with monthly fluctuations that can suck you under quicker than a strong tide--but I would prefer to embrace the changes than fight against them and definitely rather than get depressed by them, which is how I woke this morning. Er. Afternoon. Stayed up until past 2 a.m., was woken early by neighbors and my own cat around 7, fed said cat and went back to bed, had weird ex-husband and house dreams, and slept in until 1 p.m. Typically, I think of 8 a.m. as "late."
Journaling helps, which is what I consider this since no one will ever see it. Ah, the pleasures of being one among many (thousands? hundreds of thousands? millions?) who blog.
No, it's not eat, pray, love, it's eat, work on goals, reassess, self-talk, work toward balance, embrace friends, pull oneself up by the hand--gently but firmly, and on and on.
Keep on keepin' on. As for the T- listings, I've decided I'm not going to record every fluctuation back up, telling myself this is momentary water gain or the moon pulling at who knows what. But the next downturn just may be a bit longer in coming--so be it. It will come. If I take care of my body, it will come. Ohmmmmmmmmmm.
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