Willpower

What the f*** is the will anyway? My mind and body are in agreement that I need to lose weight, so what part is it that, at some points, wants to just throw in the towel and go lie down for a long, long nap?

Part is overcoming memory of past defeats--I've tried losing weight before, gotten even lower than I am now, and just slid back. Part is the frustrating contradictions or intransigence of my body. Still exercising, not eating much differently each day, and my weight continues to fluctuate by 2-3 pounds. Do I feel better? Yes. Do I feel stronger? Yes. Do I get pissed off that my scale doesn't show that I'm losing weight? YES. Ah, those numbers. They do have a hold on me.

And then there's the psychological defeats or sense of what I don't have that propels me to want to say, so who cares. Not a good idea, but sometimes those, too (or mostly?), play a role.

Will = positive attitude in large part, at least for me. Positive that change can occur. Positive that when that change occurs, that it will be worth the effort because of the positives that come with that change. Positive that even the effort is a good thing, despite (or perhaps because of?) how long it takes for the goal to be achieved. And perhaps a rethinking that the goal is the process as well as the end result. Oooh. Gotta stay with that one awhile . . . .

As they say, where there's a will, there's a way. May the will be with me to see the way.